Anger Management

The feeling of anger lets us know when we are being mistreated or that we’re in a situation that is not in line with our needs, goals, or values.  Feeling angry can alert us that we need to look at the situation we are in and determine whether we need to make changes that would feel more satisfying to us.

However, our anger can also feel out of control.  Anger may flare into rage in response to minor offenses or arise seemingly out of nowhere.  It can cause us to say things or act in ways that damage relationships, sabotage our goals, or cause us to ruminate endlessly without taking effective action.
If your anger has become explosive or self-defeating, we will explore the root causes, which are often unconscious.

For example, this type of uncontrolled anger can flare when:

•  You are experiencing underlying emotions that are more difficult to acknowledge, such as fear or grief
• You lack alternative ways of communicating your needs
• You are feeling helpless
• You experience an insult to your self-esteem
• Something in the current situation unconsciously reminds you of an insult you experienced long ago that felt unfair or humiliating<
• Something in the current situation unconsciously reminds you of an experience in childhood where you experienced or feared life-threatening loss, such as rejection or abandonment by a caregiver 

Understanding the root causes and working through the associated emotional material helps to see current triggers with greater clarity and deescalates the intense emotional responses, creating mental space so that you can consider your alternatives for managing a situation that best supports your goals.